I was 35. My life was wrapped around in Saturday, Sundays. That's it. I lived for a Saturday and a Sunday. And that Saturday used to go up waking up late in the evening, get drunk. Sunday swear upon god you'll not drink again. And, Monday back to office.
For my mom I never grew fat. Like, till date. I was healthy. Plump. Pleasantly Plump. Horizontally challenged. 'Ab woh kehti, "Mera beta suja hua hai".' (Now, she says, "My son has swollen up.")
I was very poor when I was young. My father passed away when I was 4. I started working with very odd jobs. I was door to door marketing, and working with PVR as a torch man. And, then pizza hut as a delivery boy. And a waiter, and then I joined call centers And I went on to become the board of directors there. 16 years it took me there. 16 years.
I was 35. I was flying jets. I was flying business class. Staying in the most swankiest of the hotels. And, what you realise is when you are middle class, and you don't have money your dreams die first. Because everybody tells you how to live your life. Everybody. And I heard them. I listened to all of them.
I bought a house when I was 26. I bought a back up house when I was 28. I bought a back up back up house when I was 30. I bought a back up back up back up house when I was 32. Now, I have got 6 flats and 2 villas, but to hell with it! I pay installments and nobody stays there.
I used to handle a thousand people at office. Then, I got divorced when I was thirty one. I couldn't handle one woman. That's a bummer in your life, right? And, then, I started cursing because, I was never the good son. I was never the good son. I was never the son who could get married, hold on to a marriage.
For me, that was a stand-up. Twelve days ago, my dog died. 15 years of companionship. Somebody who doesn't have a dog will not get it. But, I carry him in my heart. Next day, I had a show. I made, I made a killer of a show that day. You know what? Because, that made me happy. That's what it is. I was never good at anything and look who's talking on the stage. So, eat shit people. That was it. That's my story. Yeah!